Sunday, February 7, 2010

Blog # 4, 2nd draft: Right Here Waiting. - edited as of 8th Feb



7th February 2010

Dear Sir/Madam

POST OF CLINICAL RESEARCH CO-ORDINATOR

I am writing in response to your JobsDB advertisement posted on 21st January 2010 for the position of Clinical Research Co-ordinator.

I am a graduate from National University of Singapore (NUS) with a Degree in Life Sciences with Specialization in Biomedical Science. Although I do not have any clinical trial experience, I am willing to put in the extra time and effort to learn. I am confident that my education and my eagerness to learn have prepared me for the position that you have available. My unique abilities will enable me to contribute significantly toward your objectives.

The opportunity presented in this listing is very interesting and I believe that my ability to work well with others and my dedication qualify me to handle the responsibilities of the position. During my course of study in NUS, I have consistently managed to deliver engagements within time constraints. I strive for continued excellence.  I also display strong leadership talents, “team player” attitude and spirit, and the natural ability to establish consensus among cross-functional lines. My leadership skills and commitment entitled me to be a Gold award recipient for the National Youth Achievement Award Scheme in 2009. My exemplary character also led to my selection as a representative for Catholic Junior College in a dialogue session with officials from the Ministry of Education concerning character development in 2006. These qualities combined with my dedication should enable me to make a positive impact in your organization.

Enclosed is a copy of my resume for your review. I would welcome a personal interview at your earliest convenience to discuss your needs and objectives and the possibility of working together to meet them. I can be contacted at the number and email address indicated below. I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you for your time.


Best Regards


Tang An Ting Nicole
(here you are meant to see my address and contact details;
but omitted due to the lack of privacy on the World Wide Web.)
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5 comments:

  1. kun linFebruary 8, 2010 at 1:51 AM

    Dear Nicole,

    I feel that this is a pretty good application letter. However, there are still a little space for improvement in my opinion.

    First paragraph, last line seems to be a little too lengthy. Perhaps a semicolon might solve the problem. - "...you have available; and my unique abilities..."

    Second paragraph, second line. I guess there's a typing mistake there.

    Grammar mistakes aside, I feel that you can talk about your research/laboratory experiences to give some relevance between the job and your qualifications. You may also want to add in a line or two to explain why you chose this position/company.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hou ZhishengFebruary 8, 2010 at 7:39 AM

    Dear Nicole,

    You provide very strong support of your leadership and character traits. However, it'll be helpful to say what made you interested in research and the reasons for pursuing a career in this field. You did well to acknowledge your willingness to learn, but it would be better to show what steps you have taken (or intending to take) in order to pursue the research path.

    Like what Kun Lin pointed out, the second line "I my ability" is probably an accidental mistake. "consistently managed in delivering" should be changed to consistently managed to deliver.

    ReplyDelete
  3. nicole.tangFebruary 8, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    Thank you both for pointing our the grammar mistakes and providing suggestions for improvement.
    I have made the necessary corrections in grammar.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousFebruary 8, 2010 at 11:01 PM

    It was good that you mentioned positive character traits. However, the meticulous and independence traits listed in the advertisement were not addressed in your application letter. Also, I would like to suggest you put in any adminstrative or clerical work experience that you may as it might be relevant to this particular job description.

    ReplyDelete
  5. goh chern dianaFebruary 9, 2010 at 9:47 PM

    Dear Nicole,


    Something small to add on to the comments you have received from our blogging group buddies.

    You might wish to break your third paragraph into two separate paragraphs. The application letter looks a little imbalanced with the vastly different paragraph lengths.

    Otherwise, it's a good piece of work in my personal opinion.

    ReplyDelete

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